Talking to Children in Times of Loss

Resources for Supporting Children Experiencing Grief

Grief impacts everyone differently.

This cliché is perhaps most true among the youngest of a family.

Preparing children for the illness and death of someone they know and love can feel overwhelming. JSSA’s hospice team provides support and guidance as families navigate these challenging conversations.

While the journey through grief is individualized, JSSA’s hospice team, recommends the following:

Share difficult news at a time that you can provide undivided attention.

Pause often for questions as children often process information in spurts.

Prepare children for what they might expect when visiting a person who is dying.

Some children like to have a role (push a button to raise a bed or lay a blanket) and others like to share a picture or letter. Still, others may want to only engage through calls or not visit at all. It’s important to be open to how you can best support your children in grief.

Use clear language about dying and death. 

Being clear in supporting children in grief helps avoid confusion. Including language from your personal belief system may also bring comfort

Consider the age and development stage of children in your life. 

This may help you understand that the ways children experience grief can vary widely.

Prepare for a range of emotions. 

From sadness to anger, to seemingly being unaffected, all of this is common for children. Supporting children in grief means creating space for sharing and questions that will allow children to grieve in their own ways. With thoughtful preparation, children may feel comforted in attending the funeral service, to receive grief support from others and to be included in the experience.

Support children in grief stages. 

Support the ongoing ways that children can remember and continue to feel a connection to the person who died, such as by looking at photos, creating a memory box, or talking about the person.

Keep the routine.

Children find comfort from continuity and routine. Partner with teachers, counselors, or other support professionals to ensure children have any needed support.

Though there is often an inclination to protect children from difficult situations, children often sense something serious is happening. Honesty and openness may provide comfort and ensure children don’t feel left out of an important family experience.